A sharp stab of pain was what had woken him up at 4.35 am. A Vicodin and some time later he sighed defeated and left his bed for his piano. Fuck the neighbours, he couldn’t sleep and he didn’t give a damn.
And God help his ducklings, because the day appeared dark and painful, and he didn’t care.
All the hospital knew to apply the rules to survival as he appeared early that morning, limping and scowling a little more than usual.
No one was going to approach him, or block his way or make himself/herself known to him.
Even PPTH walls were holding their breath.
He reached his office and let go of his bag and coat, transferring his death grip from his cane to his desk. For a couple of heartbeats he just breathed, then he all but collapsed on his armchair, helping his right leg reach the footstool.
That was how his duckling found him when they got to work: worn out, dark bags under his eyes, which were tightly closed, pain lines clearly written all over his features.
Foreman sighed: - One hell of a day, this will be. – And swore. The other two just nodded, resigned.
He heard them approach his office and steeled himself for Cameron’s useless concern. That girl still had to learn and if she wasn’t careful, that day she’d get the full course.
When they entered he cursed inwardly. Foreman was neutrally watching him, Cameron seemed ready to cry… but Chase, his blue eyes showed concern and eagerness to help. It had been only a moment, but enough to know, to understand. And it got him very angry.
They had brought with them several lab results on their latest case and he barked and humiliated them without pity, ordering a bunch of new, and several of them quite useless, lab tests and to Chase to go and do his clinic hours.
When they left him cursing his name, he breathed a sigh of relief, only to stiffen when the pain flared up again at the smallest of movements.
Near lunch hour, Wilson went to the clinic to get House, only to find Chase instead. His questions about his friend’s mood were met with dark looks. He reflected and then opted to steer clear of House’s path the rest of the day. He would try that evening, maybe.
Chase sighed. They were left alone with all of House… even the nurses gave him sympathetic eyes. But it wasn’t enough.
When he finished at the clinic, he joined the other two convicts in the lab. They needed to stay together to be stronger.
When they brought back the results to House, everyone could hear the music from his office. Cuddy stood near the end of the corridor, eyes sad. She shook her head and smiled tightly to them. And went away. They were definitely alone.
The second time was even worse. Usually it’s the first that is awkward and difficult, right?
House jumped from one topic to another, with a restless energy he couldn’t burn. He was nasty and sarcastic, well more than usual, and they kept silent hoping he would vent.
As they were leaving for other tests, House tried to stand and Chase, the masochist, offered his help.
House froze and Robert swallowed. He withdrew his hand and swiftly left the office.
Less than an hour later he was already going back. They had split the tasks and he had been the first to finish. Cameron had paled as he said he would go alone.
There was a knot inside his stomach and his limbs felt heavy. The corridor seemed the path towards the guillotine. He stopped at the door, took a deep breath and entered.
House eyes blinked open and he stared. He had to give him credit, the boy had balls. First the eyes, than the hand, now a backbone. Nice. But definitely a waste.
He took the files from Chase’s fingers and scowled.
- This is all? I didn’t need another reminder about your stupidity, thank you very much. And you could refrain from spreading it to the other two, you know. -
Chase blinked back the tears. He tried to talk, but House prevented him. – What the hell is the use of these if I don’t have all the other results too? Would you explain it to me, Dr. Chase? – And his title was said with such venom it sickened him.
Chase knew he had lost his battle with his tears as House’s face split in a nasty smile, but before he could destroy him once and for all, he spoke.
- You’re pathetic and you know. You sit here all alone, you take a Vicodin after the other and no one takes the courage to come and ask if you want help. Not even Cuddy… - Chase smirked, angry. – Not even Wilson. You laugh in the face of your patients regarding their pain, their courage and ability to stand it, just because you can’t. Nobody is more miserable than the one who watches the misery of the others with indifference. -
House stared at Chase, shocked. How did he dare to think he knew how House felt?
- Take it like a man, House, and maybe someone will come to help. It’s not a weakness, it’s about faith. – And he left the office, humiliated and angry.
House kept replaying that conversation inside his mind over and over. Didn’t know he had the guts to talk to me like that, House smiled.
The sight of Chase, eyes red from his tears, face flushed from shame, had the effect of taking away a good half of his pain, it seemed. Surprise, surprise. He was better than Vicodin. But before he could expand on that thought, the boy needed a punishment.
He waited. He knew Chase had the night shift and he intended to go looking for him only when he was certain the halls would be quite deserted. He found him at the nurse’s desk at the clinic, reviewing charts.
He grabbed him and pushed him into ER two, closing and locking the door behind them. The boy looked a bit scared, as he should be, House thought.
He was so angry, he knew he could hurt the other… maybe that was why he’d brought Chase there.
There are so many ways in which you can die. It’s not necessary for the heart to stop beating to happen.
They faced each other warily until House broke the staring contest.
- Let’s see how much you know about pain… - Chase paled.
He tried to sidestep his boss, but the cane prevented his escape and he found himself bent over the exam bed, with House against him. Robert closed his eyes tightly, scared.
- And now on with today’s lesson… - House smirked evilly.
There was so much adrenalin coursing through his body that his blood would probably have looked a lot more like water than anything else at the moment.
He got Chase’s coat out of the way and reached around for the fastening of his trousers. Robert sobbed quietly, deeply ashamed, but didn’t move. House smirk grew impossibly large. He pushed trousers and boxers down and moved away enough to admire the view.
- Nice ass… - Chase whimpered. House slapped him lightly on one cheek.
He freed himself and rubbed against the boy. Smooth skin came in contact with his hard member and he stifled a moan.
The preparation was quick and it obviously would not be enough. Then, as he started sliding into him, House muttered at his ear: - Come on, Robbie. Take it like a man! – And Chase started crying. It wasn’t from the pain of the penetration, even if it wasn’t light. It was his heart that ached. And again, ha didn’t struggled.
House completed his movement and settled against the boy, buried inside him. It was perfect. His heat was melting the cold in the pit of his stomach and in his heart and he felt the tremors of Chase’s body, his tears. He waited a moment for Robert to get used to him and then slowly started sliding out.
At first he kept all motions slow and easy, until the boy’s trembling went from sobs of pain to that of pleasure, and then increased the speed.
Chase moaned. He gripped the thin paper sheet tightly and pushed back, earning a strangled moan and a curse from House. He managed a little smile before another moan broke free. This wasn’t from love, not for House at least, but it was too good for words and surely the only time he was allowed.
Greg pushed inside him from a slightly different angle and Chase tried to stifle a scream. Even if they were in the middle of the night, they had to be careful, so House brought his left hand around to close on Chase’s mouth and his right to his cock.
Chase gripped his wrist, his thumb caressing his veins and giving him goosebumps. The pace got furious until everything ceased, sight, sound, as they came together.
House took away his hand from the boy’s pretty mouth and brought the other, with Chase’s come, near his face.
Chase was trying to regain his breath, shivering, over sensitive. He opened his eyes and looked at the hand.
- Lick it. – House ordered. His voice hoarse at his ear. Robert trembled, but shifted a bit and lapped like a good kitty at his cream.
House swallowed and had to remember to himself why he was doing that. Revenge. But it was becoming more and more difficult.
He took his hand from Chase and wiped it on the paper sheet and stood back to put a little order to his clothes.
Chase did it as well, even if his movements were a bit stiff.
Robert kept staring at the floor. He knew his eyes were red from crying and he didn’t want to see the satisfaction on House’s face. But he was grabbed, again, and before panic could settle, his lips were taken in a bruising kiss. He abandoned himself in House’s arms, surrendering everything. And Greg took it without remorse.
Robert found himself crying on his boss’ shoulder. Throat too congested to utter the apology on his mind, but House brought his hand to his hair and lightly grabbed him. He looked into those clear blue eyes and lost himself all over again.
The next kiss was softer, with tongues instead of teeth and someone moaned, probably both.
As they separated, Greg was smiling.
- I need a more comfortable setting... my leg is killing me and I want to explore. – He wiggled his eyebrows and laughed as Chase blushed a deep red.
- I’ve got the night shift, you know. – Robert tied to resist.
- Look at you… you just cried. You obviously need to go home… - House smirked, - … with me. Let’s go. -
He didn’t wait for an answer. He grabbed Chase’s hand and they left.
Yes, he had just cried, but it was a baptism, not a funeral. And he smiled.
song_ IL GIORNO DI DOLORE CHE UNO HA
album_ GIRO D’ITALIA
Quando tutte la parole sai che non ti servon più
Quando sudi il tuo coraggio per non startene laggiù
Quando tiri in mezzo Dio o il destino o chissà che
Che nessuno se lo spiega perché sia successo a te
Quando tira un po’ di vento che ci si rialza un po’
E la vita è un po’ più forte del tuo dirle “grazie no”
Quando sembra tutto fermo la tua ruota girerà.
Sopra il giorno di dolore che uno ha.
-When all those words, you know you don’t need them anymore
when you sweat your courage just to avoid being there
when you involve God or destiny or whatever else
that no one knows why it happened to you
when blows a little wind and you rise up a bit more
and life is a little stronger than your telling her: “Thanks, but no.”
when everything seems still your wheel will turn
Over the day of sorrow one has-
Quando indietro non si torna quando l’hai capito che
Che la vita non è giusta come la vorresti te
Quando farsi una ragione vorrà dire vivere
Te l’han detto tutti quanti che per loro è facile
Quando batte un po’ di sole dove ci contavi un po’
E la vita è un po’ più forte del tuo dirle “ancora no”
Quando la ferita brucia la tua pelle si farà.
Sopra il giorno di dolore che uno ha.
-When you can’t turn back, when you finally understand
that life isn’t fair as you’d like it to be
when to resign yourself will mean to live
everyone told you it’s really simple for them
when the sun beats where you wished it did
and life is a little stronger than your telling her: “not now.”
When the wound stings, your skin will mend.
Over the day of sorrow one has.-
Quando il cuore senza un pezzo il suo ritmo prenderà
Quando l’aria che fa il giro i tuoi polmoni beccherà
Quando questa merda intorno sempre merda resterà
Riconoscerai l’odore perché questa è la realtà
Quando la tua sveglia suona e tu ti chiederai che or’ è
Che la vita è sempre forte molto più che facile
Quando sposti un po’ il piede il tuo tempo crescerà
Sopra il giorno di dolore che uno ha.
-When your heart without a piece its pace will keep
when the air that’s circulating your lungs will reach
when this shit around always shit will remain
you’ll always know the scent ‘cause this is the reality
when your alarm rings and you’ll ask yourself what time it is
that life is always strong, more than simple
when you move your foot your rhythm will rise
Over the day of sorrow one has.-